Post by Ash on Oct 6, 2009 10:16:25 GMT -5
HOW WILL I KNOW?
Link: www.summercamphandbook.com/31-what-age-is-best.html
Families have good intuitions about the right time for overnight camp. Ultimately, kids themselves are the best gauges of proper timing. When they show spontaneous interest in camp, that’s a good clue that the time is right. Sometimes, kids’ interest is sparked by a friend who has been to overnight Is the time right for summer camp? camp. Other times, kids become excited about overnight camp after seeing an attractive camp in a brochure or on television. Other kids have parents or grandparents who generate interest by describing their own childhood experiences. Some families may suggest camp as an option after noticing that their child is bored or restless during school vacations.
Kids listen to other kids when it comes to figuring out what’s fun. If you’re interested in sending your child to overnight camp, but you yourself never went to camp, find a veteran camper who is your child’s age. Perhaps the son or daughter of one of your co-workers or neighbors went to camp last year and enjoyed it. Arrange a time when your kids can get together and bring up the topic of overnight camp. That veteran camper will probably be better than you (or any other grown-up who’s never been to camp) at describing the experience.
What if your child doesn’t seem interested in camp, but you think it would be a good idea? First, find out the reason why she’s not interested. You might say, “You know, a lot of kids, like your friend Sarah, really love going to overnight camp. What do you think about going for a couple of weeks?” Your child’s answer will help you figure out whether her hesitation is about separating from home, doubting whether she’ll enjoy the activities, or feeling anxious about making new friends. Whatever the reason, you should address her concern, instead of simply encouraging her to go. (Or, worse yet, forcing her to go.) Having your child talk to a peer who went to camp and loved it is powerfully persuasive. Visiting a camp while it’s in session (with the camp’s permission, of course) is an even more effective way to help your child dispel any camp myths that are diminishing her enthusiasm. Whatever your approach, keep in mind that providing accurate information that teaches your child about camp is a great way to lower her anxiety and boost her enthusiasm. Remember, it’s got to be partly her decision, not just yours.
WHAT AGE IS BEST?
We recommend that children be at least 7 years old before spending a week or more at overnight camp. In general, younger children have more of a struggle adjusting to the separation from home than older children. However, there are many individual differences in children’s preferences, enthusiasm, maturity, and ability to tolerate separations. Therefore, your child might be slightly younger than 7 or substantially older than 7 before he feels comfortable going to overnight camp. There is no “right” age at which all children are ready for overnight camp.
Besides your child’s age, you should also consider both the age range and age distribution of the other campers. A camp may say that it enrolls children between 8 and 16, but if there are only two 8-year-olds out of several hundred campers, the camp is probably geared toward older kids. Find a camp where your child’s age cohort is well represented.
As you read through the following sections, keep in mind that you have the option to choose different camps throughout your son’s or daughter’s childhood and adolescence. Some kids start with an overnight camp that has short stays and is close to home, and then transition to a camp that has longer stays and is farther away. Other kids start with camp that has a broad, general program of activities, and then try a camp with a specialized program. Of course, there are also kids who begin at one camp and fall in love with it. Kids at these camps may start at age 7 or 8 and return every year until they are 15 or 16. It isn’t unusual for such campers to become cabin leaders or instructors at that same camp.
WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER?
Besides your child’s level of interest, age, and the length of each camp session, there are four other factors to consider when deciding whether the time is right for overnight camp: Experience, attitude, family, and parents.
Experience
It has been said that experience is the best teacher. This is certainly true of overnight camping. Some practice time away from home will give your child an idea of whether the time is right for a session of overnight camp. This preliminary experience could be a sleep-over or a long weekend at a friend’s house, a week alone with relatives, a two-day school trip, or an overnight Scout or youth group outing. Here is one boy’s opinion about what makes it easier for older children to leave home and spend time at overnight camp:
I think that older kids have gone away on school trips, like on a skiing trip, and they know how it is to be, like, away from your parents and they’re more mature...they can use breaks from their parents...When you spend time away from home, you learn that you’re not with your parents, but you’ll always be in their mind and stuff. It gets easier and easier to spend time away from home.
-Bobby, age 9
Our research suggests that boys and girls with some previous experience being away from home are generally less likely to be homesick than children who have never spent any time away from home. It’s Summer Camp Handbookjust as 9-year-old Bobby observed. Indeed, most children have an intuitive feeling about when they are ready to be away from home, and how long seems comfortable. Talking with your child about these feelings will make it easier to decide on the best time to go to camp, the best camp to attend, and the best length of stay.
Attitude
Your child’s attitude about living at overnight camp is other important factor to consider. In several studies, we found that boys and girls who have positive expectations about camp had more fun and were generally less homesick than children who thought camp was going to stink. This makes sense. One way to help your child develop a positive attitude about camp is to include him in decisions about camp. Let him help you decide when to go away to camp, how long to stay, and which camp is best. Also, learn as much as possible about the camp you choose before you go. Just like adults, kids feel less apprehensive when they know what’s going to happen, where it’s going to happen, and what’s expected of them. They develop positive attitudes about their camp when it feels familiar.
Family
Families are constantly changing. New babies are born. Grandparents die. Friends move away. New neighbors move in. Parents get separated or divorced. Everyone packs up and moves across the country. Family members get sick. Kids change schools. Cousins come to stay for a while. All sorts of things can happen to a family. Many of the changes are joyous. Other changes are stressful and sad.
To a child, going away to overnight camp can be happy, stressful, and sad all at once. Therefore, when you think about whether the time is right for your child, you must think about whether the timing is right for the whole family. Our studies have demonstrated that stressful family events do not necessarily make it harder for children to have fun at camp. Stressful separations, like the death or illness of a loved one, divorce, custody changes, or a move to a new house, may or may not make the separation from home difficult for your child. It really varies from one child to another.
So how will you know whether your child can adjust to overnight camp after a recent stressful family event? There’s no way to tell for sure, but talking about the transition to camp with your child is a good place to start. It’s normal for kids (and parents, too!) to be nervous about overnight camp if the family has recently suffered a loss. For all the wonderful independence that overnight camp instills in children, there are times when a family needs to be all together. If your child is excessively worried about leaving home, or if she’s unusually depressed, clingy, or upset, you should talk with her about the possibility of not going away to overnight camp this year. There will always be next year.
Remember, your child’s attitude about camp is a good predictor of whether she’ll have a fun time or not. It’s hard for kids to have fun at camp when they are worried about things that are happening at home. Therefore, avoid using camp as a place to sequester your child during a period of transition or loss. Instead of insulating her from stress, you might just be giving her the time and space to ruminate. On the other hand, if your family has had enough time to deal with a recent stressful event, and your child is enthusiastic about overnight camp, then camp might be the perfect thing for both of you.
Parents
It’s important to consider your own attitudes and behaviors because they influence your child’s attitudes and behaviors. If you’re nervous about his going away to camp, it will show, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Of course, a little bit of nervousness is OK. It’s perfectly normal for parents to be a little sad and nervous when their child goes away, and kids know that. After all, they know you love them. But if you show a great deal of sadness or anxiety, then your child may think to himself, “Gee, if my parents are that upset about the whole camp thing, then there must be something scary about it. I should probably be pretty upset too.” The research findings won’t surprise you. Children who are very nervous or sad in the months before they come to camp are more likely to feel nervous, sad, and homesick at camp than children who are relatively cheerful in the months prior to camp.
There is one other reason to monitor your own attitudes and behaviors. If you seem very distressed, then your child might feel guilty about leaving home. The principle is simple: If your child is worried about you, it is harder for him to concentrate on having fun at camp. He might feel that his job should be to stay home and take care of you. You may need to assure him that you’ll be fine, and that you have a lot to do while he’s away at camp.
Despite giving your child uniformly positive messages about camp, you may nevertheless find her getting cold feet just prior to opening day. This is common for first-year campers, but even veteran campers get nervous about whether their old friends will be back, what has changed about camp, and who their cabin leader will be. Some kids may become quite upset and adamant about withdrawing their enrollment at the last minute, and parents struggle not to cave to these emotional demands. In such cases, it’s important to be empathetic but committed. So far, you’ve been collaborating with your child about her decision to go to camp. A day or two before camp starts, however, is a time to be firm and confident. You might say something like, “Madeline, I know how excited you are for camp to start, but I can see that part of you is nervous now that opening day is close. It’s normal to be wondering what camp will be like, but once you get to camp, you’ll be able to answer a lot of the questions you have now. I’m glad we’ve made a careful decision about camp together, and we both know it’ll be wonderful. I want you to go and have a good time. I know it can hurt a little to leave home, but once you get into the routine at camp, you’ll love it. Don’t forget: we’ll be in touch, so you can tell me how you’re doing.” Your child is likely to appreciate your unwavering vote of loving confidence.
A CHECKLIST OF REMINDERS
* Consider your child’s level of interest in overnight camp. What sparked her interest? Has her interest endured, or have you had to do a lot of convincing? If your child goes to camp, will she be going for herself or for you?
* Consider your child’s age. Children younger than 7 may have a difficult time adjusting to a week or more of overnight camp. Is he ready?
* Consider the length of stay that is best. How many weeks are best for you, your child, and the family? Are there adequate visiting days? How will camp fit in with the rest of your summer plans?
* Consider your child’s previous experiences away from home. Has he spent at least a few weekends away from home? What were those separations like for him and for you?
* Consider your child’s attitude toward camp. Is she excited or does she think that camp will stink? Sometimes attitudes become self-fulfilling prophecies, so do your best to create positive expectations. Learn as much as you can about the camp you eventually choose.
* Consider your family situation. Have there been recent stressful changes within the family? Have there been losses or unexpected separations? Have you and your child adjusted to those changes? Are you both ready to be apart from each other?
* Consider your own approach to camp. Encouragement is important, but check to make sure you’re not being too pushy early on. Also, it’s normal to be nervous, but check to make sure that you’re not doing too much worrying out loud.
* Be sure you send a clear message that camp is a good thing and that you’ll both enjoy the time apart. Avoid sending mixed messages. Be firm and confident as opening day nears.
* P.S. You work hard as a parent, and you deserve some time off. You should feel good about providing a wonderful experience for your child, and giving yourself a well-earned break from full-time parenthood.
Link: www.summercamphandbook.com/31-what-age-is-best.html
Families have good intuitions about the right time for overnight camp. Ultimately, kids themselves are the best gauges of proper timing. When they show spontaneous interest in camp, that’s a good clue that the time is right. Sometimes, kids’ interest is sparked by a friend who has been to overnight Is the time right for summer camp? camp. Other times, kids become excited about overnight camp after seeing an attractive camp in a brochure or on television. Other kids have parents or grandparents who generate interest by describing their own childhood experiences. Some families may suggest camp as an option after noticing that their child is bored or restless during school vacations.
Kids listen to other kids when it comes to figuring out what’s fun. If you’re interested in sending your child to overnight camp, but you yourself never went to camp, find a veteran camper who is your child’s age. Perhaps the son or daughter of one of your co-workers or neighbors went to camp last year and enjoyed it. Arrange a time when your kids can get together and bring up the topic of overnight camp. That veteran camper will probably be better than you (or any other grown-up who’s never been to camp) at describing the experience.
What if your child doesn’t seem interested in camp, but you think it would be a good idea? First, find out the reason why she’s not interested. You might say, “You know, a lot of kids, like your friend Sarah, really love going to overnight camp. What do you think about going for a couple of weeks?” Your child’s answer will help you figure out whether her hesitation is about separating from home, doubting whether she’ll enjoy the activities, or feeling anxious about making new friends. Whatever the reason, you should address her concern, instead of simply encouraging her to go. (Or, worse yet, forcing her to go.) Having your child talk to a peer who went to camp and loved it is powerfully persuasive. Visiting a camp while it’s in session (with the camp’s permission, of course) is an even more effective way to help your child dispel any camp myths that are diminishing her enthusiasm. Whatever your approach, keep in mind that providing accurate information that teaches your child about camp is a great way to lower her anxiety and boost her enthusiasm. Remember, it’s got to be partly her decision, not just yours.
WHAT AGE IS BEST?
We recommend that children be at least 7 years old before spending a week or more at overnight camp. In general, younger children have more of a struggle adjusting to the separation from home than older children. However, there are many individual differences in children’s preferences, enthusiasm, maturity, and ability to tolerate separations. Therefore, your child might be slightly younger than 7 or substantially older than 7 before he feels comfortable going to overnight camp. There is no “right” age at which all children are ready for overnight camp.
Besides your child’s age, you should also consider both the age range and age distribution of the other campers. A camp may say that it enrolls children between 8 and 16, but if there are only two 8-year-olds out of several hundred campers, the camp is probably geared toward older kids. Find a camp where your child’s age cohort is well represented.
As you read through the following sections, keep in mind that you have the option to choose different camps throughout your son’s or daughter’s childhood and adolescence. Some kids start with an overnight camp that has short stays and is close to home, and then transition to a camp that has longer stays and is farther away. Other kids start with camp that has a broad, general program of activities, and then try a camp with a specialized program. Of course, there are also kids who begin at one camp and fall in love with it. Kids at these camps may start at age 7 or 8 and return every year until they are 15 or 16. It isn’t unusual for such campers to become cabin leaders or instructors at that same camp.
WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER?
Besides your child’s level of interest, age, and the length of each camp session, there are four other factors to consider when deciding whether the time is right for overnight camp: Experience, attitude, family, and parents.
Experience
It has been said that experience is the best teacher. This is certainly true of overnight camping. Some practice time away from home will give your child an idea of whether the time is right for a session of overnight camp. This preliminary experience could be a sleep-over or a long weekend at a friend’s house, a week alone with relatives, a two-day school trip, or an overnight Scout or youth group outing. Here is one boy’s opinion about what makes it easier for older children to leave home and spend time at overnight camp:
I think that older kids have gone away on school trips, like on a skiing trip, and they know how it is to be, like, away from your parents and they’re more mature...they can use breaks from their parents...When you spend time away from home, you learn that you’re not with your parents, but you’ll always be in their mind and stuff. It gets easier and easier to spend time away from home.
-Bobby, age 9
Our research suggests that boys and girls with some previous experience being away from home are generally less likely to be homesick than children who have never spent any time away from home. It’s Summer Camp Handbookjust as 9-year-old Bobby observed. Indeed, most children have an intuitive feeling about when they are ready to be away from home, and how long seems comfortable. Talking with your child about these feelings will make it easier to decide on the best time to go to camp, the best camp to attend, and the best length of stay.
Attitude
Your child’s attitude about living at overnight camp is other important factor to consider. In several studies, we found that boys and girls who have positive expectations about camp had more fun and were generally less homesick than children who thought camp was going to stink. This makes sense. One way to help your child develop a positive attitude about camp is to include him in decisions about camp. Let him help you decide when to go away to camp, how long to stay, and which camp is best. Also, learn as much as possible about the camp you choose before you go. Just like adults, kids feel less apprehensive when they know what’s going to happen, where it’s going to happen, and what’s expected of them. They develop positive attitudes about their camp when it feels familiar.
Family
Families are constantly changing. New babies are born. Grandparents die. Friends move away. New neighbors move in. Parents get separated or divorced. Everyone packs up and moves across the country. Family members get sick. Kids change schools. Cousins come to stay for a while. All sorts of things can happen to a family. Many of the changes are joyous. Other changes are stressful and sad.
To a child, going away to overnight camp can be happy, stressful, and sad all at once. Therefore, when you think about whether the time is right for your child, you must think about whether the timing is right for the whole family. Our studies have demonstrated that stressful family events do not necessarily make it harder for children to have fun at camp. Stressful separations, like the death or illness of a loved one, divorce, custody changes, or a move to a new house, may or may not make the separation from home difficult for your child. It really varies from one child to another.
So how will you know whether your child can adjust to overnight camp after a recent stressful family event? There’s no way to tell for sure, but talking about the transition to camp with your child is a good place to start. It’s normal for kids (and parents, too!) to be nervous about overnight camp if the family has recently suffered a loss. For all the wonderful independence that overnight camp instills in children, there are times when a family needs to be all together. If your child is excessively worried about leaving home, or if she’s unusually depressed, clingy, or upset, you should talk with her about the possibility of not going away to overnight camp this year. There will always be next year.
Remember, your child’s attitude about camp is a good predictor of whether she’ll have a fun time or not. It’s hard for kids to have fun at camp when they are worried about things that are happening at home. Therefore, avoid using camp as a place to sequester your child during a period of transition or loss. Instead of insulating her from stress, you might just be giving her the time and space to ruminate. On the other hand, if your family has had enough time to deal with a recent stressful event, and your child is enthusiastic about overnight camp, then camp might be the perfect thing for both of you.
Parents
It’s important to consider your own attitudes and behaviors because they influence your child’s attitudes and behaviors. If you’re nervous about his going away to camp, it will show, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Of course, a little bit of nervousness is OK. It’s perfectly normal for parents to be a little sad and nervous when their child goes away, and kids know that. After all, they know you love them. But if you show a great deal of sadness or anxiety, then your child may think to himself, “Gee, if my parents are that upset about the whole camp thing, then there must be something scary about it. I should probably be pretty upset too.” The research findings won’t surprise you. Children who are very nervous or sad in the months before they come to camp are more likely to feel nervous, sad, and homesick at camp than children who are relatively cheerful in the months prior to camp.
There is one other reason to monitor your own attitudes and behaviors. If you seem very distressed, then your child might feel guilty about leaving home. The principle is simple: If your child is worried about you, it is harder for him to concentrate on having fun at camp. He might feel that his job should be to stay home and take care of you. You may need to assure him that you’ll be fine, and that you have a lot to do while he’s away at camp.
Despite giving your child uniformly positive messages about camp, you may nevertheless find her getting cold feet just prior to opening day. This is common for first-year campers, but even veteran campers get nervous about whether their old friends will be back, what has changed about camp, and who their cabin leader will be. Some kids may become quite upset and adamant about withdrawing their enrollment at the last minute, and parents struggle not to cave to these emotional demands. In such cases, it’s important to be empathetic but committed. So far, you’ve been collaborating with your child about her decision to go to camp. A day or two before camp starts, however, is a time to be firm and confident. You might say something like, “Madeline, I know how excited you are for camp to start, but I can see that part of you is nervous now that opening day is close. It’s normal to be wondering what camp will be like, but once you get to camp, you’ll be able to answer a lot of the questions you have now. I’m glad we’ve made a careful decision about camp together, and we both know it’ll be wonderful. I want you to go and have a good time. I know it can hurt a little to leave home, but once you get into the routine at camp, you’ll love it. Don’t forget: we’ll be in touch, so you can tell me how you’re doing.” Your child is likely to appreciate your unwavering vote of loving confidence.
A CHECKLIST OF REMINDERS
* Consider your child’s level of interest in overnight camp. What sparked her interest? Has her interest endured, or have you had to do a lot of convincing? If your child goes to camp, will she be going for herself or for you?
* Consider your child’s age. Children younger than 7 may have a difficult time adjusting to a week or more of overnight camp. Is he ready?
* Consider the length of stay that is best. How many weeks are best for you, your child, and the family? Are there adequate visiting days? How will camp fit in with the rest of your summer plans?
* Consider your child’s previous experiences away from home. Has he spent at least a few weekends away from home? What were those separations like for him and for you?
* Consider your child’s attitude toward camp. Is she excited or does she think that camp will stink? Sometimes attitudes become self-fulfilling prophecies, so do your best to create positive expectations. Learn as much as you can about the camp you eventually choose.
* Consider your family situation. Have there been recent stressful changes within the family? Have there been losses or unexpected separations? Have you and your child adjusted to those changes? Are you both ready to be apart from each other?
* Consider your own approach to camp. Encouragement is important, but check to make sure you’re not being too pushy early on. Also, it’s normal to be nervous, but check to make sure that you’re not doing too much worrying out loud.
* Be sure you send a clear message that camp is a good thing and that you’ll both enjoy the time apart. Avoid sending mixed messages. Be firm and confident as opening day nears.
* P.S. You work hard as a parent, and you deserve some time off. You should feel good about providing a wonderful experience for your child, and giving yourself a well-earned break from full-time parenthood.
